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Saturday, 30 April 2011

Mistakes

Between yesterday’s mistakes
& tomorrow’s hope, there is fantastic opportunity
& that is today. Live it with full zest.

Teri kami

Teri kami b hai ehsas b hai
Tu dur b hai aur pas b hai..
Khuda ne yu nawaza hai teri dosti se mujhko;
Ki khud per mujhe gurur b hai aur naz b hai..

English mein

Circuit:Bhai Amrican Rashtrapati kidher ko rehta hai?
Munna: DHOBIGHAT pe.
Circuit: Dhobighat bole toh?
Munna: English mein usko “WASHINGTON” bolneka.

Sabke Chehre Me

Sabke Chehre Me Wo Bat Nhi Hoti
Thode Andhere Se Raat Nhi Hoti
Zindgi Me Kuch Log Bahut Pyare Hote Hai
Kya Kare Uni Se Mulakat Nhi Hoti

Nahin hila sakti

Munna Bhai: Yaar yeh kutte poonch kyon hilaate hain.,
Circuit: Common sense BhAi! Ab poonch kutte ko to nahin hila sAkti na.!!!

Mai apse pyaar nahi karti.

Biwi ko thpad mrne k baad PATI BOLA- admi use hi marta h, jise wo pyar krta h.
Biwi ne b 2-4 khich ke mare or boli- Aap kya smjte ho, mai apse pyar nhi krti.?

FRIENDS are just ..

“Coffee nevr knew how gud cud it taste,
before it met Sugar,Water n Milk”
FRIENDS r just d same,
they r gud as they r.
But when they meet they become best.

Success will be Yours.

Dont compare Yourself with anyone in this world
If U do,U r insulting Yourself
Bcoz u R UNIQUE in Ur own way Respect Yourself
Success will be Yours.

Mera Katil Bhi

Har Mehfil Har Dil B Royega
Jaha Dubegi Meri Kasti Wo Sahil B Royega
Itna Pyar Bikher Denge Zamane Me Hum
Ki Katal kar k Mera Katil B Royega

Yaad Karte He Apko.

Dil Ki Gahraiyo Me Rakhte He Apko
Hardam Palko Pe Bithaye Rakhte He Apko
Dil Dhadke To Suno Gaur Se
Har Dhadkan K Sath Yaad Karte He Apko.

Thursday, 24 March 2011

Ladkiya Patane Ke 101 Farmulas

Formula 1
Hamesha Ladki ke aankho se aankhen milakar hi baat kare, isse Ladkiyan impress hoti hai.

Formula 2
Ladkiyon se jab bhi mile ek pyaari si smile jarur kare.

Formula 3

Hamesha unki help ke liye taiyaar rahe.

Formula 4

unka Birth day kabhi naa bhule aur unhe koi Beautiful gift jarur de, yaa ek Rose.

Formula 5

uus par kabhi bhi gussa na kare, Hamesha pyaar se hi pesh aaye.

Formula 6

Ladkiyan Shayari pasand karti hai, isliye aksar unhe unki khubsurti par koi Shayari sunate rahe, aisa karte rahne se wo aapke pyaar me pagal ho jayegi.

Formula 7

unse hamesha achche Dress me hi mile, yaad rakhe aap ko bhi attractive dkhna padega.

Formula 8

agar aap ek hi class me hai to unko Study me yaa Notes banane me Help karte rahe, aisa karne se aap unke aur bhi karib aate jaenge.

Formula 9

Aap jab bhi unse mile unhe Hi yaa Hello yaa Shake hand karna na bhule, isse apna pan badata jaega.

Formula 100

Ladkiyon ko Good personality wale Ladke bahut achche lagte hai, issliye koi achchi si Gym me exercise kar apni Body ko attractive banaye. isse Ladkiyan aapko dekhte hi impress ho jaengi.

Formula 11

Agar aapke pass cell phone hai aur us ladki ke paas bhi ( jise aap patana chahte hai), to aksar usko Funny SMS yaa Love SMS yaa Friendship SMS bhejte rahe. aisa karne se aap unki yaado me bane rahenge.

Formula 12

Friendship aur Valentines day ko unhe hamesha wish kare aur ek Pyara sa Gift jarur de. aisa karna najdiki badane ke liye bahut jaruri hai.

Formula 13

Ladkiyon se hamesha Romantic mood me hi baat kare, aise baat kare jisse unhe lage ki aap ko unse baat karke bahut hi maza aa raha hai.

Formula 14

Hamesha unko Respect de, isse aap unki nazaron me ek achche Ladke bane rahenge, jo Ladki patane ke liye bahut hi jaruri hai.

Formula 15

Ladkiyon se kabhi mat sharmaiye, Maximum Ladki sharmile Ladko ko pasand nahi karti hai, issliye hamesha frankly unse mile.

Formula 16

Apni Personality perfect rakhne ke liye hamesha chust durust dikhe, na ki sust yaa kaamchor. Ladkiyan furtile Ladko ko hi pasand karti hai.

Formula 17

agar Ladki Filmo ki shaukin hai to usse aksar Film ke hi bare me baate kare, isse wo aapse apni feeling bantkar khush aur impress hongi.

Formula 18

aap apne din ki shuruwat unhe ek mast Good Morning SMS bhejkar karen.

Formula 19

Raat ko sone se pahle ek Pyara sa Good Night SMS bhejkar bhi aap unhe impress kar sakte hai.

Formula 20

Ladkiyon se usi topic par baat-chit karo jis me use baat karne me maza aaye, isse wo aapse bahut samay tak baat kar sakti hai. aur aapki Dosti Pyar me bhi badal sakti hai.

Formula 21

Ladkiyon ke samne hamesha apna Cina taan kar chale, aisa karne se Mardangi jhalkti hai aur Ladkiyan Mardon ko hi pasand karti hai.

Formula 22

Ladkiyan darpok ladko ko pasand nahi karti hai issliye aap darna chhod de aar Ladkiyon se ek nidar ki tarah react kare.

Formula 23

agar Ladki aapse kuch mange to use jarur pura karne ki koshish kare, isse Ladkiyan aapse itni impress hongi jiski aap imagine bhi nahi kar sakte.

Formula 24
Unke Birth day par sabse pehle aap wish kare, isse wo aapko kabhi nahi bhul payengi.

Formula 25

Hamesha unse kisi na kisi bahane milte rahe, isse aap unki nazaron aur yaado me aksar bane rahenge.

Formula 26

unhe Dinner ya Lunch ke liye offer kare, ager wo agree ho jaye to unke pasand ke hotel me unke pasand ki dish order kare. wo turant aap par fida ho jayegi.

Formula 27

Ladkiyon se pehle Dosti karo baad me unse apne Dil ki baat kahna, Pyar ke mamle me patience se kaam le.

Formula 28

jab wo aap se baat kare to unki baato ko unki aankon me aankhen dalkar dhyanpurvak sune.

Formula 29

Agar Ladki aapki neighbor ho to roz subah unko dekhte hi Good Morning jarur kahe.

Formula 30

Agar Ladki aapki Class met ho to unse shake hand jarur kare.

Formula 31

Agar aap unke sath antakhari khele to unko target karke Loveable song jarur gaye.

Formula 32

Agar wo aapse raste par Lift mange to aap use jarur de, aur aise react kare jaise aap bahut jaruri kaam se ja rahe the Lekin unke liye aapne jaruri kaam chhod kar unhe Lift di, isse wo aap se Impress hue bina nahi rah sakegi aur aap use aasani se pata lenge.

Formula 33

agar wo koi problem me ho to sabse pehle unki help ke liye aap pahuche, ye Ladki patane ke liye jaruri sabak hai.

Formula 34

Ladkiyan bahut emotional hoti hai isliye unki emotion ki hamesha sammaan kare.

Formula 35

agar Ladki koi bhari kaam kar rahi hai to aap unki madad jarur kare. kaam me hath batane se Pyar badata hai.

Formula 36

agar School/College me unki Gaadi ka Petrol khatam ho gaya ho to aap apni Gaadi ka Petrol nikalkar jarur de.

Formula 37

unse hamesha hansi mazak karte rahe, Lekin ek limit me hi.

Formula 38

agar Ladki kahi paidal ja rahi ho to aap unhe apni Bike me Pahucha dene ka offer jarur kare, aisa impression jamane ke liye badiya mauka hai.

Formula 39

aap kisi Ladki ko bahut pyar karte hai to apni feeling ko Pink color ke paper par likhkar unhe jarur de, yaani unhe Love Letter likhe.

Formula 40

Maximum Ladkiyan Funny Ladke pasand karti hai, isliye aapko bhi Funny banana padega.

Formula 41

Jab bhi aap Ladkiyon se mile to unhe ek Mazedar Jokes jarur sunaye, yaa kuch Funny Shayari hi. (click here for Funny SMS & Funny Shayari Collection)

Formula 42

agar wo Morning walk karne jati hai to aap bhi uske sath sath walk karne jaye, subah ke mast mahaul me aap unse Mazedar baate kar unhe impress kar sakte hai.

Formula 43

agar unke paas cell phone hai to kisi bhi bahane unse Contact karte rahiye, aur SMS bhi bhejte rahiye. (click here for World's largest collection of SMS)

Formula 44

agar unka tabiyat thik naa ho to unse milne jarur jaye, aur unka haal chaal jarur puche.

Formula 45

apne Birth Day me unhe invite karna na bhule, aur aaye to ye kahna "aap hi ka intzar kar raha tha, ab aap aa gai ho ab mai Cake katunga.

Formula 46

unke diye hue Gift ki tarif jarur kare, tarif karna Deep me Ghee dalne ke saman hai.

Formula 47

agar unka Mail ID aap jante ho to unko Mail karte rahe aur ye ehsas dilaye ki aap dinbhar unki hi khayalo me khoye rahte hai.

Formula 48

agar aap ko apne Padosan ko patana ho to unke ghar aate jate rahe aur jarurat padne par unki madad karte rahe.

Formula 49

agar Padosan ka bhai bhi hai to, Pehle uske bhai se Dosti karo, uske bhai ki nazaro me aap ek samajhdar Ladke ki tarah raho, isse aapka unke ghar aana jana laga rahega.

Formula 50

Har insan apni tarif sunana chahta hai, isliye aap Ladki ke har Chijo ki tarif karte rahe.

Formula 51

Ladkiyon se hamesha Confidence ke sath hi baat kare.

Formula 52

agar aap kisi Ladki ko Patana chahte hai to usse baat karne ki koshish kare. aur apni feeling ko kisi din Letter me likhkar unhe de do. isse Ladki aapke Himmat ki Kayal ho jayegi.

Formula 53

agar unka koi Nick name ho to aap unko Nick name se hi pukare. isse aap unko apne se lagenge.

Formula 54

Jab bhi aap unse mile to unko uske pasand ki Chocolate jarur de. Ladkiyon ke shauk pure karne se unko Patane me aasani hoti hai.

Formula 55
agar Ladki ice-cream khane ki shaukin ho to unko jarur isske liye offer karte rahe..

Formula 56

Ladkiyan agar group me ho to aap unhe (Jinhe Patana hai) hi dekhte rahe, aisa karne se wo bhi aap ke taraf attract ho jaegi.

Formula 57

agar aap kisi Ladki ko Propose karna chahte ho to, aap unka ek hath pakadkar unhe Red Rose dekar Propose kare. wo aap ka Proposal jarur accept kar legi.

Formula 58

unki har ada ki tarif jarur kare, wo jarur khush hongi.

Formula 59

Propose karna Mard ka kaam hai iss liye aap ye mat soche ki Ladki aakar aapko Propse karengi, Pahle aapko hi Propose karna hoga.

Formula 60

agar wo kabhi aapke ghar ke samne se gujre to use apne ghar jarur bulayen, aur Chaay ya Coffee jarur pilaye. isse wo aapke mehman navaji ki kayal ho jayegi.

Formula 61

agar aap unka ghar jante hai to Holi ke din uske ghar unke sath Holi khelne jana na bhule aur unke sath khub hansi mazak kare.

Formula 62
agar aap Party me kisi Ladki ko Patana chahte ho to, aap sabse pehle unse jakar mile aur apna Introduction de, isse dhire-dhire baat chit ka silsila shuru hoga aur aap use Pata lenge.

Formula 63

aap ki Padosan agar School/College jane ke liye nikal rahi ho to aap unke sang hole aur unse baat karte hue aap bhi jaye. aisa Continue 3 Dino tak kare aur 4th Din mat jana, wo 5th Din aapse jarur puchegi kal kyu nahi aaye. aur iss tarah mulakat se aap use Pata hi lenge.

Formula 64
Ladki Patane ke liye Confidence bahur hi jaruri hai isliye aap Pahle apne aap pe bharosa rakhiye ki aap use Pata kar hi Dumm lenge, aur aap apne Confidence ke bal par hi use Pata lenge.

Formula 65

Ladkiyan Patane ke liye apne aap me kuch quality paida kare, jaise Singing, Dancing, Body Building, Acting. quality hone se Ladki Patana bahut asan ho jata hai.

Formula 66

agar aap me koi buri aadat ho to use chhod de, bure Ladke pasand nahi kiye jate hai, isliye apni buri aadato ko chod de.

Formula 67

Ladkiyon ke samne kabhi bhi Smoking na kare aur na hi Drinking. ye baat hamesha yaad rakhe Ladkiyan Good Manners wale Ladko ko hi Pasand karti hai.

Formula 68

Ladkiyon ke samne kabhi bhi Gandi baate naa kare isse aapka unke samne ek bad boy ki image ban jaygi. aap unke samne Talented person ki tarah hi Behavior kare.

Formula 69

agar aap jante hai ki wo kis Film Hero ki Fane hai to aap usi Hero ke jaisi Hare Style rakhe aur usi ki tarah dikhne ki khoshish kare. Ladki aapse impress hogi hi.

Formula 70

aap hamesha unse sach bolne ki koshish kare, isse aap unhe sachche Ladke lagenge. jo ki impress karne ke liye jaruri hai.

Formula 71

aap unke prati hamesha vafadar rahe, har Ladkiyan ek vafadar sathi ki talash me rehti hai.

Formula 72

agar aapke makaan ke kiraye daar ko Patana ho to uske kuch mahine ka Kiraya maaf karde. isse aapki unse najdikiyan badengi. aur wo aapka ehsan mand ho jaengi

Formula 73

Ladkiyan hazirjawab Ladkon ko Pasand karti hai issliye aap hazirjawab dene wale person baniye.

Formula 74

Kai Ladkiyan filmo ki baate karna bahut pasand karti hai, aise Ladkiyon se aap unke pasand ki filmo ke baare me baate karke unhe impress kar sakte hai.

Formula 75

intelligent Ladko se Ladkiyan impress hoti hai issliye aap apni Study improve karke Ladkiyon ko impress kar sakte hai.

Formula 76

Ladkiyan Patane ke liye aapka General Knowledge Strong hona chahiye, GK Ladkiyon ko Patane me bahut hi Helpful hota hai.

Formula 77

Ladkiyan saaf suthri image wale Ladko ko Like karti hai issliye aap jhagde-jhanjhaton se dur hi rahe.

Formula 78

aap jis Ladki ko Patana chahte hai use agar koi pareshaan kar raha ho to aap us Ladki ki madad kare, isse wo Ladki aapse turant Pat jayegi.

Formula 79

agar wo koi khaas type ke Book read karne ki shaukin ho to aap use wo Book Gift kare (for exa. Comics, Film Magazines etc.). wo aapse jarur impress hongi aur aap unhe easily Pata lenge.

Formula 80

hamesha koi badiya Body Spray (Perfume) lagaya kare. aapke Body ki khushbu Ladkiyon ko aapki aur attract karegi

Formula 81

agar wo aapki kuch help kare to usse thanks jarur kahe. impression jamane ke liye ye chhoti-chhoti formalities bahut kaam aati hai.

Formula 82

agar aapke paas Bike ho to use hamesha saaf suthri rakhe, Ladkiyan Saaf suthri Bike me hi ghumna Pasand karti hai. issliye apne Bike ko attractive banaaye.

Formula 83

Aap Mobile set aisa rakhe jo aapki Personality ko suet kare. achhe Mobile set rakh kar Ladkiyon ko apni taraf attract kiya ja sakta hai.

Formula 84

apne cell phone ke wallpaper me unka Photo set kar ke rakhe, aur use dikhaye wo aapse jarur impress hongi.

Formula 85

aap kisi din unse ye kah kar ki "aap mujhe aapna autograph denge to ye meri khushnasibi hogi". aap unka autograph mangkar unko impress kar sakte hai.

Formula 86

apne cell phone me koi Romantic Ring tone hi rakhe, Romantic Ring tone sunkar Ladkiyan jarur impress hoti hai. Ladkiyon ko Patane ke liye unhe impress karna bahut hi jaruri hai.

Formula 87

unke ghar ke paas se jab bhi gujre unhe dekhne ki koshish jarur kare. unhe ye ehsas dilana jaruri hai ki aap unme interest rakhte hai.

Formula 88

agar aap unse kahi mile aur unke sath me unke Parents ho to unke Paanv (charan) chhue. Ladki turant aapse impress hogi (agar Ladki JaanPehchan wali ho ussi condition me hi).

Formula 89

agar wo age me aapse chhoti ho phir bhi aap unse "AAP" kahkar hi baat kare. unhe lagna chahiye ki aap unka bahut respect karte hai.

Formula 90

unke sath kabhi bhi bahas nahi kare hamesha unki baat ka sath de. tabhi unko Pata sakte hai.

Formula 91

har Ladki apne Khubsurti ki tarif sunana chahti hai issliye aap unki khubsurti ka hamesha tarif karte rahe. ye Ladki Patane ka Super hit Formula hai.

Formula 92

aap unhe hamesha ye kahe ki wo Duniya ki sabse Beautiful Ladki hai. wo aap se hamesha khush rahegi aur easily set ho jayegi.

Formula 93

mere ek Dost ki 56 Girl Friend hai. usne un sabhi ko Patane ke liye jo Formula use kiya hai wo hai- "Ladkiyon se hamesha unke baare me hi baate karo". wo hamesha Ladkiyon se unke hi baare me baate karte rahta tha aur Ladkiyan Pat gai.

Formula 94

unse kabhi bhi gandi baate na kare unse achhi baate hi kare, tabhi kamyabi milegi.

Formula 95

aap unse ye kahe ki aap unke liye kuch bhi kar sakte hai, wo aap se impress hogi hi.

Formula 96

Maximum Ladkiyan Clean shave kiye hue Ladko ko Like karti hai issliye sexy dikhne ke liye shave karte rahe.

Formula 97

Ladkiyon ko kabhi bhi ghur kar naa dekhe balki unhe hamesha Pyaar bhari nazaron se hi dekhe, Ladki aapki Diwani ho jayegi.

Formula 98

agar kabhi unke sath Film jane ka mauka mile to koi Romantic Film hi dekhne jaye, unke sath Romantic Film dekhi matlab Ladki Patti.

Formula 99

Ladkiyan apne Julfon (hair) ki tarif sunana Pasand karti hai, issliye unhe Patane ke liye unke Julfon par Shayari sunaye yaa tarif kare. (click here for Tarif Shayari)

Formula 100

aap unki sabhi baaton par agree kare unke kisi bhi baaton ko naa kaate, aap dono ke think milne ka ehsas dilakar bhi aap unhe aasani se Pata sakte hai.

Formula 101

aap unke sath hamesha unke baare me hi baate kare, aur unko special hone ka ehsas jarur dilaye, isse wo aapki Diwani ho jayegi

Tuesday, 22 March 2011

Love vs Anger

While Dad was polishing his new car,

his 4yr old son pickedup a stone

& scratched lines on d side of d car.

In his anger,Dad took child's hand

& hit it many tmes,

nt realizing he was using a wrench.

At d hospital, his child said,

"Dad,wen wil my fingrs grow bck?"

Dad was so hurt.

He went bck to the car

and kicked it a lot of times.

Sitting back,he looked at d scratches,

child wrote "I LOVE YOU DAD"

MORAL:-~Anger & Love have no limits.

Thursday, 3 March 2011

Drinking is Injurious...!!!

Three men were drunk and they stopped a taxi.
The taxi driver figured that they were not in their minds…so, he just switched on the engine and switched it off and told them : “we have arrived”
The first man gave him money.
The second one thanked him.
But the third one….he slapped the taxi driver.
The taxi driver was stunned because he was hoping that none of them must have had realized that the car dint move an inch.
So, he asked the third man :
what was that for?”
*
*
*
the third man replied : “control your speed from next time onwards……you almost killed us…..”

Wah Wah......WAH WAH...

Boss:

Arz kiya hai.........

Office may Kaam hote hain...
Galtiyon ka sama hota hai....
Aise mausam mein hi to PERFORMANCE jawan hota hai....
Dil ki khunnas BOSS jabaan se nahi kehte...
Ye fasana to appraisal mein bayan hota hai.... :-) :-) :-) ....

Employee's reply...

Arz kiya hai.........
Appraisal hote hain...
Disappointment ka sama hota hai...
Aise mausam mein hi to Attrition jawan hota hai....
Dil ki khunnas HUM jabaan se nahi kehte...
Ye fasana to resignation se bayan hota hai.... (Wah wah ... wah wah ... wah wah ...) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) ....

Monday, 21 February 2011

Who are boys....and girls...

Who are BOYS?


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Who go to hell and there also they say,


“Yamaraaj ki beti dekhi? Kya dikhati hai yaar…!”






And


Who are GIRLS?


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Who go to heaven and say,


“Uss apsara ki nail paint dekhi?? How cheap…..!”

Saturday, 19 February 2011

Nice1...

A tough biker was riding his Harley when he sees a girl about to shoot herself, so he stops.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

"I'm going to commit suicide," she says.

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity, he asked "Well, before you shoot, why don't you give me a kiss?"

So, she does.

After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous! Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."
Laughter is the best medicine......

ONE LINERS.. Really Funny!!!

*   I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she’s interested in, she said: Cheque books.

*   The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new car.

*   What is the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.

*   My wife thinks “freedom of the press” means no-iron clothes.

*   What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

*   Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal.

*   At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I hv lst my hand, oh! Santa: Control urself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

*   A French in a hotel in NY, phoned room service for some pepper. Attendant: Black pepper or white pepper? French: Toilette pepper!

*   Santa & Banta were walking in the highlands then suddenly Santa fell down in a deep hole. Banta: Are you ok? Santa: Fine thanks! Banta: Did you break anything? Santa: No, there’s nothing down here to break!

*   Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in? New employee: Yes, sir. Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.

*   Santa always leave an empty milk carton in the refrigerator just in case someone wants their coffee black.

*   Santa falls in luv with a nurse… After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: “I luv u sister.”

*   Q: Why dogs don’t marry? A: Because they are already leading a dog’s life!

*   A history teacher & his wife were sitting at a table. The wife asked. ‘Anything new at work?’ He replied, ‘No, I’m teaching History.’

*   Q: What’s the diff between mother & wife? A: One woman brings you into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.

*   Santa enters kitchen, opens sugar container, looks inside and closes it. He does this again and again. Why? Because his Doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.

*   Teacher: Four beautiful girls are walking on the road. Change it to exclamatory sentence. Student: WOW !

*   Santa in an antique shop, “Do you have anything new?”
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

WHY EMPLOYEES LEAVE ORGANISATIONS ?

Every company faces the problem of people leaving the company for better pay or profile.

Early this year, Mark, a senior software designer, got an offer from a prestigious international firm to work in its India operations developing specialized software. He was thrilled by the offer.

He had heard a lot about the CEO. The salary was great. The company had all the right systems in place employee-friendly human resources (HR) policies, a spanking new office, and the very best technology, even a canteen that served superb food.

Twice Mark was sent abroad for training. "My learning curve is the sharpest it's ever been," he said soon after he joined.

Last week, less than eight months after he joined, Mark walked out of the job.

Why did this talented employee leave?


Arun quit for the same reason that drives many good people away.

The answer lies in one of the largest studies undertaken by the Gallup Organization. The study surveyed over a million employees and 80,000 managers and was published in a book called "First Break All The Rules". It came up with this surprising finding:


If you're losing good people, look to their
manager.... manager is the reason people stay and thrive in an organization. And he’s the reason why people leave. When people leave they take knowledge,experience and contacts with them, straight to the competition.

"
People leave managers not companies," write the authors Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman.

Mostly manager drives people away?

HR experts say that of all the abuses, employees find humiliation the most intolerable. The first time, an employee may not leave, but a thought has been planted. The second time, that thought gets strengthened. The third time, he looks for another job.

When people cannot retort openly in anger, they do so by passive aggression. By digging their heels in and slowing down. By doing only what they are told to do and no more. By omitting to give the boss crucial information. Dev says: "If you work for a jerk, you basically want to get him into trouble. You don 't have your heart and soul in the job."

Different managers can stress out employees in different ways - by being too controlling, too suspicious,too pushy, too critical, but they forget that workers are not fixed assets, they are free agents. When this goes on too long, an employee will quit - often over a trivial issue.


Talented men leave. Dead wood doesn't.

Kabir Vani and Software Engineer (SE)

Kabir : Aisi baani boliye, man ka aapa khoye
Auron ko sheetal kare, aap bhi sheetal hoye

SE: Aisa presentation dijiye, man ka aapa khoye,
Auron ko confuse kare, aap bhi confuse hoye

Kabir : Guru Govind doyu khade, kaake laagu paye
Balihari guru aapke, govind diyo bataye

SE : Client aur manager doyu khade, kaake laagu paye
Balihaari client aapke, manager diyo bataye.

Rahim : Rahiman dhaaga prem ka, mat todo chatkaye
tode se fir jude na, jude gaanth pad jaaye

SE : SE confidence manager, mat todo chatkaye
Project to barbaad hoye hi, appraisal mein waat lag jaye.

Kabir : Dheere dheere re mana, dheere sab kuch hoye,
Maali seenche sow ghara, ritu aaye phal hoye

SE : Dheere dheere re project leader, dheere project execute hoye,
client dikhaye kitni bhi urgency, release deadline ke baad hi hoye..

Kabir : Jab Tun Aaya Jagat Mein , Log Hanse Tu Roye
Aise Karni Na Kari , Pache Hanse Sab roye

SE : Jab project aaye company mein, client hase hum roye,
Aisi karni na kari , tu hase client roye...

Kabir: Dukh Mein Sumiran Sab Kare , Sukh Mein Kare Na Koye
Jo Sukh Mein Sumiran Kare , Tau Dukh Kahe Ko Hoye

SE: Rush hour mein kaam sab karen , routine mein kare na koye,
jo routine mein sab kaam kare, to rush hour kaahe hoye.

Kabir : Pothhi padh padh jag mooya, pandit bhaya na koye,
Dhai aakhar prem ka, padhe so pandit hoye

SE : Coding kar ar jag mooya, programmer bhaya na koye,
Do shabd copy-paste ke, kare so programmer hoye.

Kabir : Chalati chakki dekh ke, diya Kabira roye,
Do paatan ke beechmein, saabut bacha na koye

SE: Client aur manager ko dekhke, engineers saare roye,
Deadline meet karne ke chakkar mein, saabut bacha na koye.

Kabir: Chinta Aisee Dakini, Kat Kaleja Khaye
Vaid Bichara Kya Kare , Kahan Tak Dawa Lagaye

SE: Deadline aisi dakini, man ka tension badhaaye,
kaam itna ho sar par, time pe complete kaise ho paaye.

Kabir: Maala To Kar Mein Phire , Jeebh Phire Mukh Mahin
Manua To Chahun Dish Phire, Yeh To Sumiran Nahin

SE: Engineer gaye sab cigarette peene, Leader phire office maahin,
Cubicle se jyaada time canteen pe rahe, yeh to dedication naahin

Why do we shout in anger?

A saint asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?'

Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.'

'But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the saint. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?'
Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint.

Finally he explained,' When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot.. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.'
Then the saint asked, 'What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small...'
The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'

MORAL: When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other.

Thursday, 17 February 2011

BECHARA HUSBAND...

Agar aurat par hath uthaye to Zalim, **

*Aurat se Pit jaye to Buzdil,*



* Aurat ko kisi ke 7 dekh ker ladai kare to Jealous,

*Chup rahe to Be-gairat, *

*Ghar se bahar rahe to Awara,*

* Ghar me rahe to Nakara, *

*Bachon ko dante to Jaalim, *

*Na dante to Laparwah,*

*Aurat ko naukri se roke to Shakki Mijaz,*

*Na rokey to biwi ki kamai khanewala,*

*Maa ki mane to Maa ka Chamcha,*

*Biwi ki sune to Joru ka Gulam...*

*Na Jane Kab Aayega . . . . . .*

* "HAPPY MEN'S DAY"*

Thought

"Those Nights When You Can’t Sleep,

You Just Might Be In Someone Else's Dreams…"

Stupid Questions Smart Answers....

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Wilson says I'm ugly. What do u think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.



BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.



GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??



GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple



GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??



BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??



BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??



WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in! one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.



1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".



2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun
gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".



3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".



4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"



5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called
current affairs.



6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".



7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've
failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's
performance repeated".



8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and
stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".



9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before
eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".



10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of
ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've
treated. The others all died".



11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day
and at the same time."



12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's
Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."

Tuesday, 15 February 2011

Dating process . . .

Dating process:
6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U.
6 months : Of course I love U.
6 years : GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose?

Back from Work:
6 weeks : Honey, I'm home.
6 months : BACK!!
6 years : What did your mom cook for us today??

Gifts:
6 weeks : Honey, I really hope you liked the ring.
6 months : I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living room.
6 years : Here's the money. Buy yourself something.

Phone Ringing:
6 weeks : Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
6 months : Here, for you.
6 years : PHONE RINGING.

Cooking:
6 weeks : I never knew food could taste so good!
6 months : What are we having for dinner tonight?
6 years : AGAIN!!!!

Apology:
6 weeks : Honey muffin, don't you worry, Ill never hold this against you.
6 months : Watch out! Don't do it again.
6 years : What's not to understand about what I just said??

New Dress:
6 weeks : Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress.
6 months : You bought a new dress again???
6 years : How much did THAT cost me?

Planning for Vacations:
6 weeks : How do 2 weeks in Vienna or anywhere you please sound??
6 months : What's so bad about going to Istanbul on a charter plane?
6 years : Travel? What's so bad about staying home???

TV:
6 weeks : Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
6 months : I like this movie.
6 years : I'm going to watch ESPN, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself he he he . . .

Thursday, 10 February 2011

A Riddle.....

A riddle for you to keep awake...

Eighty percent of Kindergartners solved this riddle,
But only 5% of Stanford graduates figured it out!

Can you answer the following questions in one word?

1. The word has seven letters...
2. Preceded God...
3. Greater than God...
4. More Evil than the devil...
5. All poor people have it...
6. Wealthy people need it....
7. If you eat it, you will die.

Did you figure it out?


Try hard before looking at the answers.


Did you get it yet?



Give up?




Brace yourself for the answer...
The Answer is:

NOTHING!

NOTHING has 7 letters.
NOTHING preceded God.
NOTHING is greater than God.
NOTHING is more Evil than the devil.
All poor people have NOTHING.
Wealthy people need NOTHING.
If you eat NOTHING, you will die.

Wednesday, 9 February 2011

Chinese Call Centre...

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan?

Operator: Yes, you can speak to me...

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to
me.. Who is this?


Caller: I’m Sam Wan... And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It’s urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But
what’s this urgent matter
about?


Caller: Well… just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan
was involved in an accident.
Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital.
Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.


Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the
hospital, then the accident isn’t
an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don’t have time for
this!


Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I’m Saw Ree...

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!

Operator: That’s what I said. I’m Saw Ree...

Caller: Oh …..God…. …

From –
Good Wan!

Sunday, 9 January 2011

Beauty vs Love

Beauty is a mere smile.
Love is a smile that warms the heart.

Beauty is but skin deep, from outside-in.
Love is beauty from inside-out.

Beauty changes, fades, decreases over time.
Love endures, never fails, is of a timeless dimension.

Beauty is in eyes that twinkle in the moonlight.
Love is in eyes that speak kindness, patience, concern, day and night.

Beauty is a figure, a shape, physical looks that appeal to the senses.
Love starts as a feeling, and becomes a sensitizer to the soul.

Beauty hates to hear the truth - "You're getting old".
Love embraces the truth - "I Love You more the older you get".

Beauty is vain-glory, a self-seeking competitor.
Love is humility, a self-giving peacemaker.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Love is in the heart of the giver.

So, what Foundation is built of Love?
I'll give you a hint.
It's the same foundation that has preserved marriages, friendships, families for a lifetime..
Its..
LOVE

Zindagi Ke Din Char

Dil Lagi Ki Kisi Ko Aisi Sazaa Naa Mile
Pyaar Ke Bina Jeena Zindagi Aisi
Kisi Ko Aisi Mout Naa Mile
Kamm Se Kamm Sambhalne Keliye
Dostoun Ka Sahara Toh Mile
Zindagi Me Sab Ke Din Hain Chaar
Ussme Kisi Ko Bhi Itne Gham Naa Mile
Mohabbat Hoti Nahi Sabse Zindagi Me
Jis Se Bhi Ho mohabbat Ho Dil Se
Bass Dil Ko Uss Se Bewafai Naa Mile
Hum Toh Jee Lenge Kaise Bhi Unke Bina
Bass Humari Wajhe Se Unki Aankhon Ko
Kabhi Aansoo Naa Mile Ye Dua Hai Meri

Think Before You

Before you think of saying an unkind word
Think of someone who can't speak

Before you complain about the taste of your food
Think of someone who has nothing to eat

Before you complain about your husband or wife
Think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion

Today before you complain about life
Think of someone who went too early to heaven

Before you complain about your children
Think of someone who desires children but they're barren

Before you argue about your dirty house; someone didn't clean or sweep
Think of the people who are living in the streets

Before whining about the distance you drive
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet

And when you are tired and complain about your job
Think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job.

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another
Remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer to one maker

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down
Put a smile on your face and thank God you're alive and still around.

Life is a gift of GOD.
LIVE it....
ENJOY it......
CELEBRATE it.........
AND FULFILL it...............

Shayari

YUNHI KYA KAL BHI MERE GHAR ME ANDHERA HOGA
RAAT KE BAAD SUNA HAI KI SAWERA HOGA
MAI TO LUT JAONGA LEKIN MERE LUT JAANE KE BAD
KHUD HI LUT JAANE KO BETAAB LUTERA HOGA

SHAMA EK MUAM KE PEAKAR KE SIWA KUCH BHI NAHI
AAG JUB TAN ME LAGATI HAI TU JAAN AATI HAI

HUM SAMNDAR KI TARAH ZARF E WASEEH RAKHTE HAI
DIL ME TUFAAN HU CHEHRE PE SUKOON RAKHTE HAI

BAITHE HUYE DETE HAI WO DAMAN SE HAWAAYEEN
ALLAH KARE HUM NA KABHI HOSH ME AAYEEN

SAB KE HONTO PE TABSSUM THA MERE QATAL KE BAAD
JANE KYA SOCH KAR ROTA RAHA QATIL TANHA

TALKHI E GHAM NA CHALAK JAAYE KAHIYEE AAKNHO SE
MUSKURAT HUN YAHI RAAZ CHUPANE KE LIYE

CHAND HI ROZ KI RAFAQAT ME
LAZAAT E KARB CHAKH CHUKA HU MAIN
MUHTARAM MERI SAAF GOYEE MAAF
AAP KO BHI PARAKH CHUKA HU MAI

YE KYA HUA TERI DUNIYA KO AAYE KHUDA E KAREEM
KI ZINDA LOG TARSTEE HAI ZINDAGI KE LIYE

RAHA YUNHI NAMUKAMAL MERE ISHQ KA FASANA
KABHI MUJH KO NEEND AAYIE KABHI SO GAYA ZAMANA

ZAMANA BADE SHAOQ SE SUN RAHA THA
HUME SO GAYE DASTAN KAHTE KAHTE

SHAMA NE JAN LI IS WAHAM ME PARWANE KI
SUBAH KO AAM NAHUJAAYE KAHI RAAT KI BAAT

KHULUS DIL SE HU SIJADA TU US SAJIDE KE KHANE
WAHI KABA SARAK AAYA JABEEN HUM NE JAHA RAKHDI

JAHANE FAANI KI HALATOO PER BAHOOT TAWAJAH ABAS HAI AKBAR
JO HOCHUKA HAI WO PHIR NA HOGA, JO HU RAHA HAI WO HU CHUKEEGA....

HADSOO KA KYA HAI YE TO ZINDAGI KA SAATH HAI
EK SE BACH KER CHALOGE TO DUSRA MIL JAYEEGA

DAMAN KO HAATH ME LIYE KAHTA THA YE QATIL
KAB TAK ISE DHOTA RAHOO LALI NAHI JAATI

DIL NE EK CHEEZ BE BAHA MAANGI HAI
HUSN E MAGROOR KI FITRAAT SE WAFA MANGI HAI

TANHA SAFAR

Samajh Naa Sake Duriyaa Kyun Thi.......
Zubaan Par The Lafz
Phir Majbooriyaan Kyun Thi.......
Diloun Ki Baat Agar Chahe
Haqeeqat Hoti Hai.......
Humare Darmiyaan Woh

Khamooshiyaan Kyun Thi.......
Bune The Humne Bhi Kuch
Reshmi Dhaagoun Ke Khawab.......
Humare Hisse Me Woh
Kaali Duriyaan Kyun Thi........
Samajh Naa Sake

Sargoshiyaan Hawaoun Ki......
Humare Hisse Sehra Ki
Aandhiyaan Kyun Thi.......
Tumhe Gureez Tha
Meri Chand Baatoun Se.......
Safar Tanha Toh Phir
Woh Duriyaan Kyun Thi…....

Saturday, 8 January 2011

Formula for Success...

If A equals success,

then the formula is: A=X+Y+Z.

X is work.
Y is enjoy.
Z is keep your mouth shut.

Good Saying

When you truly believe that you deserve success…



Your Mind will automatically generate ways to achieve it…



Value Yourself…

Software Engineer

3 log marne ke baad swarg ke derwaje per pahuche.

1ST bola: main pujari hu maine aapki zindgi bher sewa ki mujhe ander aane do.

God : next

2ND: main docter hu .maine logo ki zindgi bher sewa ki mujhe ander aane do.

God: next

3RD: main engineer hu.main ek software company me........................

God :bas ker pagle. rulayega kya.chal ander aaja.........

Apni Wife..

Jeans jiski tight ho,
Chehara jiska bright ho,
Weight mein thodi light Ho,
Umar me difference slight ho,
Thodi see wo quiet ho,
Aise apni Wife ho.

Sadak per sab kahe kya cute ho,
Bhid me sab kahe side ho, side ho,
India ki paidaish ho,
Sas ki seva jiski khwahish ho
Aisi apni Wife ho.

Padosi jab baat kare to haath me knife ho,
Dinner candle light ho,
Dono me na kabhi fight ho,
Milane ke baad dil delight ho,
Hey prabhu teri archana uski life ho.
Yeh kavita padhke sab kahe "Guru, tum right ho",
Aise apni Wife ho.

Kaash yeh concept 0.0001 percent bhi right ho
Agar aisi apni wife hoto kya hasin life ho
Har kisi ki yahi farmaish ho
kudrat ki bhi aajmaish ho
Khudah ke software mein bhi bug ki na gunjaish ho
Ay kaash, kahin to ek aisi paidaish ho
aisi apni wife, aisi apni wife ho.

Saturday, 1 January 2011

Chatur from 3 Idiots

Adarniya sabhapati mahodaya …atithi vishesh shikshan mantri shri R D tripati [tripathi] ji ..maanyaniya shikshagan aur mere piyaaare [pyare] sahpatiyo [sahapathiyon] …aaj agar I.C.E aasmaan ki bulaaandiyo [bulandiyon] ko chhu raahaa [raha] hai ..to uska shreya sirrf [sirf] ekinsaan [ek insaan] ko jaataahai [jata hai] shri veerusahastra buddhe ..give him a a big hand ..he is a great guy really ..
Peechle buttis saal se inhone nirantar is college mein balatkar [balaatkaar ] pe balatkar kiye ..umeed hai aagey bee [bhi] karte rahege [rahenge] ..hamine to aashcharya hota hai ki ek insaan apne jeevan kaal mein itni balatkar kaisi kar sakta hai …inhone kadi tapaasya se apne aapko is kaabil bunaya [banaya] hai ..waqt ka sahi upyog ghante ka purna istemaal koi inse seeke [seekhe] ..seeke inse seeke ….aaj hum sab chaatra yaha hai ..kal desh videsh mein fail [faael] jayenge ..waadaa hai aapse jis desh mein honge waha balatkar karenge I.C.E ka naam roshan karenge …dika [dikha] denge sabko jo balatkar Karne ki shamtaa yaha ke chaatro mein hai wo sansaar ke kisi chaatro mein nahiii ….No other chaatra No other chaatra

Adarniya mantraji namashkar aapne is sansthaan ko wo chees di jiski hamein sakht zaroorat thi ...sstunn ..stunn hota sabi [sab hi] ke paas hai ..sab chupa ke rakte hai ..detaa koi nai …aapne apna stun is balatkari purush ke haat mein diya hai…ab dekiye yeh kaisa iska upyog karta hai..

Sloke.....
Utamamm dadh dhadhattt padam……..
madhyam padam thuchuk thuchuk……..
khanishtham thudthudiiiy padam……..
sursuria pran khatkam..!!!!